Freed Myself From Myself
2018 has been an incredible year for me. I’ve married my high school sweetheart, I’ve gotten two promotions at work and the bond with my part time brothers continues to grow. I also recently found out i’m going to be a father. With all these incredible events in my life, swallowing the pill that my work will never be in a gallery and that I will never be a famous photographer has been easier to swallow. It all seems so small and insignificant compared to my marriage and our child on the way. Don’t get me wrong, I love photography and will never stop taking photos. Also, if presented with the opportunity to display my work in a gallery I will. I just don’t care about impressing anymore. I started photography because I wanted to show my high school girlfriend (who is now my wife), what I saw on my daily commute and it became this constant chase for self-validation once I got an Instagram.
Its a weird place when you want to hype yourself up to achieve your goals but you’re also trying to remain humble. I used ambition to push my photography but in turn lost why I loved doing it in the first place. I also started treating my Instagram as a temple, where only “ worthy content” was able to reside. The thought of deleting that fucking app terrified me. Probably because I felt like I would be turning my back on my dreams. Now I feel like I’m not abandoning my dreams, but building new ones. I want to be happy with my work and unafraid to share what I truly love and see without hesitation. I don’t shoot for Instagram anymore or fame or money, or for followers or admiration. I want to share my life through my photos—every photo has a story. Probably not apparent to social media or photo critics, but that stuff is for me and my family.
Earthly Possessions are Earthly Possessions— we are way more divine.
These photos… are important to me because I was doing what I love with the love of my life by my side, I don’t think there is a deeper reason aside from my state of mind when shooting these… I haven’t been this happy in a very long time.